Kerala - Sex, Prostitutes and HIV/AIDS

Indians are easily dragged into brothels in Bombay, Madras & Abroad. Rampant alcoholism is another reason. Our movies promote drinking and our children & young men are influenced by these movies. Being a large migrant workforce, Malayalees are one of the High risk group of people. Forced to live alone in another country/town leaving their family at home they can be easily tricked into a brothel for temporary sexual relief. Although we boast the highest literacy in India, the stigma about HIV/AIDS is same as the rest of India. No treatment facilities, Not much experienced doctors in HIV treatment and not many hospice homes for AIDS patients to live & die with dignity. Most of the hospitals & doctor's will just turn you away. The only way 100% sure way not to get infected is abstain from sex with prostitutes & other women/men.

If you are an Indian working away from your hometown please follow the golden rules so you will not be infected with HIV

1. Please avoid friends always talking about woman & sex and their adventures with them. These are the people influence you through their wretched tongue, every time describing about their experiences and acts. In the course of time, you may feel inferior to them, but in fact you are better off. If you are infected with HIV or you are anxious about your HIV test, nobody can be seen to console you, they will be too busy working.
2. Please do not believe in SAFE SEX as there is no sexual activity involving another person is 100% safe. Mass media promoters of SAFE SEX are Pharma companies, Condom manufacturers or Diagnostics companies. Most of the SAFE SEX advocates in US are either dead or fighting HIV/STD's up today. If you ponder your mind of having sex with a prostitute and still be safe is stupidity.
3. Do not drink alcohol and hang around near brothels, prostitution red-light areas.
4. Do not visit bars, karaoke lounges, massage centers, bath houses etc.. where you will be lured to have sex with prostitutes then or at a later date.
5. If at all you get trapped in these, please first correctly use a condom and do anything. It may give you some solace in the next morning, when you realize what you were doing.
6. Again you can be possibly safe if you do not have vaginal/anal penetrative sex, oral sex by you on the prostitute's vagina, open mouth kissing or anything like that. You can ask the prostitute to do a hand job or blowjob with condom ON for you and END there. But I can tell you, once you are inside the prostitute may take the control of the events and you will be trapped. So at the first instance do not go in.
7. If you happens to involve in a vaginal sex with a prostitute, Do not waste time. Immediately after ejaculation you wash your genitals with soap available in most brothels, thoroughly. This will kill HIV and other bacteria thus will protect you. If a mouthwash like "Listerine" available there, do a mouthwash. Or go and buy an alcoholic drink, and drink it. Drinking after a risky sex will probably kill the germs. But do not drink before sex, it will affect your judgment for safety.
8. If you happened go once do not loss hope and think that anyway I am lost, so let me enjoy and die. This is a very common mistake. Do not fall into it. One time exposure is very unlikely to cause HIV infection and do not loss hope and do not repeat it.

If you happened to involve in these, please stop it right now and do a HIV Antibody ELISA test after 3 months of the last encounter & do not have sex with your wife for at least 6 months. (Retest at 6 month time, just in case, very rare). For other STD's get a physician's help to screen you with tests (no window period for VDRL like tests, 2 weeks will be sufficient).

For wives having a "living away husband" (Expatriate) my advice is do not force him to have sex with you, if he is trying to abstain. It's may not be because he doesn't love you anymore but he loves you too much. Since he may be doubting to have caught with some STD/HIV which he doesn't want to pass it to you.

I know the waiting period is the most cruelest testing time in your life. You can be in great mental trauma and worrying a lot. Especially if you are living away from your family and nobody to support you. But I can tell you the anxiety cannot kill you.

Do not disclose your risky behavior to your friends, relatives etc.. They may inflict you with more guilt or may keep away of being infected themselves by fear. Even though it's scientifically proven that HIV cannot spread through casual contacts. Be careful yourself not to infect others by bleeding injuries or sores on your body may have, to get contact with open wounds on other's body or their mouth, eyes or genitals. To make doubly sure use bleach (Clorox) 10% diluted with water to disinfect commonly used high risk items. Do not share razors, tooth brush etc. Keep latex rubber gloves handy if you need to attend somebody's open wounds. Also cover any accidental bleeding injuries on your body with Band-Aids. Use a footwear inside the house.

Do not try to diagnose yourself with HIV symptoms. Most of the symptoms which should appear if you have an ARS (Acute Retroviral Syndrome) within first 4 weeks. If you have any fever, rashes, diarrhea, swollen glands consult a doctor. Mostly these symptoms are associated with other infections or STD's.

If you have access to mental support professional or counselors take their help. If you need to be under anti-depressant/anxiety medication take it and sleep well. Once the the time passes and you get tested -ve everything will be OK & fine. If you cannot control your sexual urge, masturbate.

If you suffer from any anxiety, guilt, depression during or after the window period of HIV testing please contact me. I can give you moral/emotional support. I have also listed below a few hotlines in India for counseling, please call them.

Kannan Nair: E-mail:
I guarantee the E-mails will be highly confidential and no information will be used by me or shared with anyone else.

My other pages about HIV

Why Indians working abroad are more at risk of HIV

Discrimination by society

Worried well syndrome

Indian Generic Medicines for AIDS

Hotlines for HIV help, Mental distress, Marriage break-up and Suicide prevention
1) Crest care & Counselling Center, Bangalore, India phone - 91-80-5453076
2) Helping Hand, Bangalore, India phone - 91-80-3535787
3) THRANI, Trivandrum, India phone - 91-471-2300333 / 91-98461-35003
4) YRG Centre for AIDS Research and Education 

  Voluntary Health  Services, Taramani, Chennai 600 113 INDIA.

  Phone 91-44-22542929 Fax 91-44-22542939 Email:

Hospice & Treatment facilities for AIDS
1) Father Varghese Palathingal: Mar Kundukulam Memorial Research and Rehabilitation Complex, Peringandoor PO Thrissur, Kerala,India -680581. Phones:91-487-201732, 200292, 201954.
Read his story in Rediff :
This is one hospice home presently running at Kerala for terminally ill AIDS patients. At present they have a 40 bed hospice & wanted to build more facility.

2) Divine Retreat Centre, Muringoor, Chalakudy 680316,Kerala.
Fax:91-488-843390, Phone:91-488-842513 & 843413
e-mail: (E-mail no reply)
This is the famous POTTA Ashram now providing support for 40 AIDS Families, with care and lodging facility.

3) Freedom Foundation , 30, Survey No.17/2, Hennur Village, Bangalore - 43. India phone - 91- 5440135/5443101

4) Dr Glory Alexander ASHA Foundation, Bangalore. India phone - 91-80-3543333

Individual E-mail Counselors
1) Rajan Gupta (will reply your e-mail)

2) AfA Singapore (will reply e-mail)

3) Dr.Bitra George (will reply your e-mail)

4) Dr.E.Mohamed Rafique (will reply your e-mail)

5) Dr.C.N.Deivanayagam (A Doctor in Sidda medicine, caring people in Chennai TB sanitarium. will reply your e-mail)

6) PSI.ORG website (will reply your e-mail)

7) THE BODY - (Good website but a lot of scary stuff to support Pharma sponsors)

Newsgroups and Organizations
1) AIDS-HIV Yahoo Group

2) JACK, Kannur

Experimental Ayurvedic treatment for HIV also offered at Kottakkal Ayravaidhya Sala Kottakkal, Kerala and AMALA CANCER HOSPITAL, Amala Nagar, Trissur, Kerala. If you know any other organizations helping HIV victims please e-mail me. I shall include a link to them.

Single-handed crusade against AIDS
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